OKAY, Here We Go

by Anna / August 19, 2021

My blog, my rules. I write about what moves me, and this has moved the hell out of me.

We’ve heard “Goodbye” from LP but now Lauren added her voice to their love story that ended. I/we have watched them for almost 6 years, I should have known better not to mix public with private, but too little too late.

It happened, the lines got blurred and somehow in their love I/we saw this “picture perfect”. I’m not here to judge or to put blame, I am simply grieving after something beautiful that was lost. While they had the time (at least I hope so) to work through their break up, I/we haven’t.

It just happened. Without a warning. And it left a void in my/our hearts. I know not everyone is AS involved in the artist’s life, but some of us witnessed their love and mutual support and respect. I’ve become a fan of them both and I’ve never hidden it. So I won’t remove my love for Lauren just because she is no longer part of LP story.

I have to learn to accept this new reality. And to move on. And it’s hard. But as Lauren has beautifully written:

It creeps up on me
That romanticization disease
And then I awake, I’m healing
I’m breathing, I’m free, I am living.
LRW – The Break Up Song

So here is Lauren’s goodbye, her ending to that chapter in her life. I can only compare that amount of pain to the “Broken Column” by Frida Kahlo.

Lyrics – official, shared by LRW recently.

If I saw you in person, I’d beg for you back
Scream cry about all the good that we had
Your gaslight would burn all night on full blast
While I beg you to listen and hand you your ass
Your back bone would bend so much it would snap
My reason wouldn’t fix your past

You made up in your mind you can only trust yourself
Lemme know how that works out for you in your living hell
If you’d just give in to your unattainable needs
So us mind reading fools wouldn’t have to cure your disease

And it creeps up on me
Like a horrible anxiety dream
Except I’m awake believing
Only breathing is keeping me living

I guess forever to you meant a means to an end
While my forever love drug has gifted me bends
I yell to myself as I’m making your bed
Turn off the house alarm but not the one in my head
I go out to the front yard where we planted fruit trees
That will feed your next lover their vitamin C
I’ll be up on that hill with too much to say
Unconditional love making me a slave

And I think of that moment that night that day
When you begged “please come here, please stay”
With a ring and a spear,
You move thru motion, so I had to steer
You loved me with your good moods
Attacked me with your old wounds
I guess your passive aggression was
Still your best, babe

But it crept up on us
The never, now seems so obvious
More than ever, I’m grieving
Only breathing is keeping us living

You create in your mind that people don’t like you
You laugh at the Pisces but truly it haunts you
You think you’d know better
You’ve done this your whole life
You’re less than insane
Cuz you don’t expect change

Your comfort in sadness makes life what it is
I can’t convince you of your happiness and even if I did,
You’d find cruel in my intent and make it your home
Your victim kingdom, just you on your throne

No Love
No Love

Didn’t creep up on you
It’s a choice you carefully choose
Quit wavering, I can feel you retreating
Only breathing is keeping you living

OKAY HERE WE GO…

You. Swear. I. don’t appreciate you
Well, I don’t use sex as thank you
Sure bent over backwards to be available for you
I was there from the get-go
I’m not your trophy or your coattail
Fame must have changed your point of view
I’m the writer, not the muse.

Better pop star than partner
Now you’ve got all you wanted
You can pay off your problems
Cuz your ego won’t bargain
Played me like a melody
Made me your enemy
Cuz blame gives you the courage to act on infidelity

You’re a slave for the new
clumsy love needs a fix
Its not the new ones fault
The captain steers the ship
It’s predictable, not special
That skin surface devil
A true lust romance is never successful
We’re the perfect example

All jokes aside,
Wishing you a good life
Remember this time to let it honesty guide
I guess we really did try
Feels right to say goodbye
It’s rare these days
But when you cross my mind
It creeps up on me
That romanticization disease
And then I awake, I’m healing
I’m breathing, I’m free, I am living.

PS To that one person that claims I am being paid to write and run this blog.

LOL. What can I say. Just because you see a donation “button” it doesn’t mean I am being paid. I have received few donations in the last year or so, but those were from LP-fans who are thankful for my work and my blog. All I do, I do because I want to. I do it for free. In my free time. If you don’t appreciate my content feel free to find another source. Good luck.

Anna

Anna from Poland. I have been a blogger for a long time, but more in a royal field. Since 'meeting' LP through her music and as a person, a lot has changed. If I'm not working on my blog, I work as a teacher. I love to travel, read & dance. I sing & play uke when no one listens. Music was always a big part of my life.

Reply Anonymous August 19, 2021 at 19:42

Thank you for this Anna. I too am still grieving for their relationship. I wish them both happiness

Reply Anonymous May 10, 2022 at 08:03

Same here to me…I was in pieces, with all that chemistry and love…OMG…where did it go? So sorry, for the pain

Reply Anna August 19, 2021 at 20:01

These lyrics are devastating.

Reply Simona August 19, 2021 at 20:10

What a great song and amazing video. I can feel the pain and the sadness Lauren went through. It breaks my heart but that’s life and she will be stronger. I won’t stop supporting her as she is simply a wonderful person and a gifted singer and songwriter. Thanks Anna for sharing your thoughts and feelings.

Reply Bridget Brita August 19, 2021 at 20:14

Thank you Anna.
Their end of love story devastated me like it was mine, I got so attached to this lovely couple. I cried a lot about their breakup and couldn’t believe it. Thank you Anna for also loving Lauren who is a lovely person that I met in Paris in December 2019. She is very touching, very hug.

Reply Anonymous August 19, 2021 at 22:10

Thank you Anna….you are always the best to help us to understand things.

Reply Saorine Marie-christine August 19, 2021 at 22:20

On est nombreux je crois, à avoir adoré leur si belle histoire d’amour. On aime “aimer l’amour.” plus encore quand il semble offert à nos regards si tendrement, avec tellement d’enthousiasme, de gaieté, de câlins, de passion. On s’est surpris à adorer le couple, et leur talent, sur la même scène, ou pas. Elles étaient si rayonnantes ensemble !
Nous n’étions bien sûr, pas dans leur vraie intimité. Nous n’avons rien “vu venir” et nous portons un petit peu le deuil de cet amour que nous avions idéalisé. On sait pourtant tous que la vie n’est pas faite que de bonheur. C’est ainsi ! On les aime toujours autant, toutes les deux, et on s’adaptera. Merci à elles d’exister et de nous réjouir avec leur musique et leurs chansons. Et à vous Anna, pour votre dévouement et votre écriture. Amitiés 💜

Reply Elitsa Tsvetkova August 19, 2021 at 23:54

Thank you, Anna! The song lyrics is much appreciated and I totally share your point of view. I believe both of them are unique and talented and I love both of them, together or not.
Whoever commented on you being paid probably have mixed their medicines by mistake. You put time and work for our benefit and in my opinion that donation button should be used more often.

Reply Holly Gerber August 20, 2021 at 00:29

I love LRW, and this song was heartbreaking. The honesty was painful. I respect that she channeled her pain and healing through this song…she certainly didn’t hold anything back. The contrast between her melancholy break-up song, and LP’s cynical and rather upbeat “Goodbye” song is interesting. I love both of these women, and while the things they shared of their relationship to the outside world painted a really lovely portrait of devotion, passion, and happiness, the reality was obviously flawed, messy, and perhaps not the type of love that was meant to last. Either way, it’s their lives, and I wish them both all of the happiness in the world, whatever that looks like. I won’t lie, though…LRW’s “Break-up Song” is beautiful, but those lyrics are just so damned sad! 😭

Reply Maria Park August 20, 2021 at 05:42

Thank you Anna, for unabashedly supporting the one’s you love. I loved them both, and wondered along with everyone else what had happened to the fairytale. I cry for people in the public eye, who have to experience loss and grief in front of millions of people. I have a hard enough time doing it alone. LP and LRW deserve our support for their own decisions. We can gather strength from watching how they bounce back and continue to love them and their music with all of our hearts.

Reply Krista August 20, 2021 at 00:43

Goodbye was written long before their breakup. There is a song about it on the record but it’s not Goodbye. I’m guessing we’ll be able to figure out which song it is when the album comes out.
Thanks, Anna for the post and all the work you do!

Reply Anna August 20, 2021 at 11:19

While the general idea started earlier, the song was finished and recorded long after the break up.
Another song that’s about Lauren will be “Rainbow”.

Reply Bernie August 20, 2021 at 11:31

“Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive “. The first casualty in this sad situation was the truth. The demise of this relationship was played out to the biggest audience both LP and Lauren will ever play in front of. How both of them handled their parting, was like night and day. I wish this song and video was released sooner, it would have given fans a balanced view. Two sides to every story. Achingly heartbreaking to watch.

Anna, what a brave and courageous decision to bring this balanced view to us. You have steered us through the most difficult, narrow stretch of water we have had to go through as fans. ❤️

Reply Patty Richardson August 20, 2021 at 22:47

It’s truly heartbreaking, Anna! I wanted them to make it! Thank you for posting the lyrics to Lauren’s song. It means so much to us. We appreciate everything that you do …. to try and help us stay in the loop.
Namaste! 💜

Reply Fleurdelegie August 21, 2021 at 18:43

merci Anna, tu es une source d’informations intarissables. Lauren est dans une souffrance incroyable, hélas dans une rupture il y a toujours un perdant et le gagnant emporte tout … Je ne veux juger ni l’une ni l’autre, tout cela est si triste … LP n’est pas parfaite, c’est comme cela …

Reply Anonymous August 21, 2021 at 20:29

Thank you Anna🙏💙

Reply Shane Tylor August 22, 2021 at 03:56

I just don´t know why this article is on LP´s blog! I think this is okay for LRW blog. I hope LP blog will be about LP! Thanks!

Reply Anna August 22, 2021 at 11:29

Please stop. I think I’ve explained it.

Reply Anonymous August 22, 2021 at 07:57

Your blog and your rules. We get it. But this definitely won’t bring you LP’s appreciation.

Reply Anna August 22, 2021 at 11:28

Should I be scared? After all it’s so brave of you to post this anonymously. I’ve been supporting LP unconditionally for almost 6 years now. Others came and go. I think I deserve to write under my own rules.

Reply Bernie August 22, 2021 at 22:53

Yes we get it, but I think you don’t. Did LP tell you something or are you assuming this. When “Churches “ is released we are guaranteed there will be songs about Lauren. Fair minded people will always want a balanced view whether it’s painful or not to read. LP seems to have a balanced opinion on most things, telling people to respect themselves and others. Empathy, kindness. I don’t think that’s gone from LP do you? Well if that’s gone she has lost part of her soul. If the truth hurts then it hurts if you are part of this sad situation for both Lauren and LP. I want to know the truth as a fan. I don’t want lies or deceit or a one sided story. Thanks to this blog I now have a bigger picture. We are entitled to this. Maybe LP is a lot more understanding than you think.

Reply Jeannie August 23, 2021 at 08:21

My apologies for bumping into your conversation. You seem very nice, Bernie. But I’ve been thinking about this blog post and the story for a while. And the only horrifying thought is “Is it really the truth?” Are you or Anna sure? Because the accusations Lauren makes are too hard, too unlikely for LP we all used to know – moral abuse, multiple infidelity, narcissism, cruelty, total inability to love and other. Even if it is true (which I doubt), is it ok to put this about? In the official LP blog? Again, if it is true (are you sure that’s the whole picture??), doesn’t LP deserve a tiny bit of mercy and support from her loving fans?

Reply Anna August 23, 2021 at 10:50

I’m not going to explain myself anymore so than I already did.
I’ve had enough since the whole thing started. All the fans writing and asking what has happened, why it has happened. Wanting explanation from me, like it would be me who could offer such explanation. Then accusations how we could so easily and fastly forget Lauren.
I do what I do and how I do the best that I can. I write about LP and her world. Her story. Hasn’t Lauren be part of her story for 6 years?
Only THEY know the truth, what I share is what THEY have decided to share with their fans. That’s THEIR story, not mine. I’m only giving you the picture, what you take from is on you – not on me.
So I kindly ask everyone, please keep those thoughts to yourself. Cause you’ve all had NO IDEA about the rollercoaster that I went through in the last 6 months or so.

Elitsa Tsvetkova August 23, 2021 at 13:41

Once George Carlin said: “Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

To the other people in this conversation – if you love LP or LRW or both, please show them the same respect you are showing every other person around you and quit dissecting their life. Peace and love♥️

Reply Anna August 23, 2021 at 14:51

I’ve been caught between a rock and a hard place – you try to make it out of this situation with your head held high, and your own integrity intact.
Even more so, I wouldn’t have the nerve to tell someone who is writing a blog and creating a safe space for every fan, to tell that person what he/she/they should or shouldn’t write about.
Feel free to invest 5 years of your life into a project like that, and then have someone come and tell you, yeah, no, I don’t think so, it shouldn’t be here….
Do you all think it was an easy post to make?

Reply Elitsa Tsvetkova August 23, 2021 at 16:43

Sorry for writing again, but my last comment turned out quite vague. I have no idea what has happened in your own life, but I hope everything will get better. Regarding your post it has already been seen by thousands and liked by dozens of people. Don’t let few negative comments discourage you. Please, keep doing what you are doing, because you are doing it really well.

Reply Maca August 23, 2021 at 17:25

Anna, te seguimos porque queremos, y te agradecemos mucho tu trabajo, y creo que está bien saber lo que siente LRW, es parte de la vida de LP luego es adecuado hablar de ella aquí, pero se ha pasado mucho y LP no ha explicado absolutamente nada, ni lo hará, al final solo tenemos una versión, la de LRW.
Dicho esto lo único que puedo hacer para apoya a LP está hecho: compré el disco y ticket para el streaming del 04/10

Reply Trish Weidig August 28, 2021 at 19:04

Cool song. Thanks for the share. I’m always looking for good music. I love LP’s work, and I listened to a few LRW pieces when they were collaborating together, but I didn’t really connect to LRW’s songs at the time. This one got to me. Maybe I need to give her another listen.

Thanks for doing what you do, Anna. 🙂

Reply Christine September 20, 2021 at 22:22

First of all, Anna, I want to thank you for the absolutely fantastic job you do with this blog. If anyone doesn’t like it, they don’t have to read it. I certainly owe you a debt of gratitude for all of the LP content you bring. Don’t let the bastards get you down!

By the time the news of their break up came, I was already suspicious that something was different. Watching some of the lockdown videos, I noticed that neither was wearing their ring from the other. Then Lauren seem to disappear from videos of when they were in Palm Desert working. Then when the first video came out for the new album and Lauren wasn’t in it, that was the third huge red flag.

I will come clean and say that I was always somewhat suspicious of Lauren‘s motives, I wondered if she was trying to use LP for her connections in the music world. I was being like the mother that never thought any girl was good enough for her child. This song is the best thing I’ve ever heard from Lauren. She excoriates LP without being too blatantly in-your-face, and shows us the flipside of being in a relationship with LP. As a huge LP fan, my instinct was to assume the break up was more Lauren than LP. This song shows how it took two to tango, and how much of a human being LP is. I am well aware I idealize her, and I want to believe all those pictures of her smiling and laughing all the time. But she’s also mentioned how moody she is, as well as how affected she was by her ex-partner’s infidelity. That leaves a scar.

Lastly, while I don’t know the exact timing of the break up, it seems to me that LP is rarely alone for long. I believe she mentioned this in a recent interview, that she has to be in love. As a woman of 68, my wish for her would be that she could take the time to be by herself and find out who she really is and what she really wants. As we all know, the saying ‘be careful what you wish for” is profound. Let’s also not forget she turned 40 this year, which can be enough to screw up your head all by itself.

Thanks again, Anna! I have tickets for April 2022 here in Maine. I might be the only Maine resident who reads your blog!

Reply Zehra Erarslan October 1, 2021 at 20:15

Well i don’t care what other poeple think about it, but “to be a better pop star than a partner” and “attackt me with your old wounds” are the key explanations from LRW, i love LP but i think she also has her dark sides as everybody else have and why not tell them?
And for who thinks that this is her privat… İf you live your privat in front of people, (which they really did) than it’s no wonder when they feel a part of it by following and want to know what happend…

Reply Tami October 30, 2021 at 08:40

I appreciate you and your time Anna, You can’t please everyone All the time. Don’t let other opinions change you heart or dedication. You were Intuitive to know that some of the fans (Including myself) were looking for answers. The post was a wonderfulky informative. And it greatly has to to do with LP. Because she created so much music and her video artistry about LRW. And It was Lauren who actually gave us the insight, not LP. They put their life In the public for us all to connect with. And many of us did. It’s sad. I will always love “tightrope” and I adore LRW.

Reply Myra December 15, 2021 at 17:53

While I can respect the affection and dedication, I think many people forget that these are artists and normal people. The lines are blurred when it comes to the fans. Fans believe they are owed more than what, in reality they are actually owed. Any and every artist does what they do because they are passionate about it. LP’s drive made her semi-famous throughout the world. However, don’t get it twisted, they do not owe explanations about their personal lives to anyone. People connect with artists through their music. That’s a given. When fans go to the extent of obsessing, romanticizing, creating in their minds this alternate world, in which they truly believe, that the artist and themselves have this connection, relationship, whatever you want to call it, that’s crossing a line. Both LP and Lauren Ruth Ward have every right to move on. While it may hurt their fans in the long run, ask yourself this would you have cared so much if they weren’t semi-known artists? Would you be obsessing this much if they were just two people who ended there relationship because it didn’t work out, like many relationships do? I mean, realistically are they investing the same amount on time on you as you’re investing in their lives? They are doing what any good artist would do, engaging with their fans, being appreciative of the fact that you listen to their music. Without fans they would starving artists right? It’s business. I came upon this page by accident, but, I felt compelled to write something as blogs are for the world to see and read and reply too. I like both of these artists, they are great in their own unique ways. I get their music has touched your lives in one way or another and it’s wonderful, but this is their job.

Reply LlamaMama January 2, 2022 at 06:03

Myra, you have a unique style of expressing the life of an artist. Almost as if you’ve lived it yourself. Now I’m obsessing that you are actually LP, in disguise, and it really has me hooked. [I’ve re-read your response 13 times already.] The way you explain the creation of alternate worlds in their minds is, it seems, so accurate. That the fan obsessing and the artist have this ‘connection’ has crossed a line – is being told by an artist – this much is clear. So, I’m just taking it one step further and fantasizing that it is you, LP, and not just some random artist lol.
But, the crux of your reply is your ending paragraph [had you bothered to create paragraphs, it would start at ‘They are doing what any good artist would do… ‘]. Artists are appreciative of their fans and some even allow their fans much insight into their personal lives. But, to an artist, this is just their job. To the fan[s] it is material with which to build their fantasy [‘cuz that’s all it really is…] relationship/connection and they soon forget that to the artist, it is only business.
You wouldn’t know this unless you were a semi-known artist yourself, hmmm? This isn’t something that a fan obsessed, or not obsessed, would know to write/say. This is coming from your own experience, no?

Many people, on this blog, wrote to say that LP had not been given the choice of whether or not she wanted this posted in a blog that has been centered around her world for 6 years. Anna has done nothing wrong with sharing the song and lyrics from LRW’s view of your breakup. Though, to read some of the comments, you would think she had committed blasphemy upon her beloved LP. She hasn’t. And, I just wanted to respond by saying: Thank you for taking the time to stop and respond and especially to clarify, what it really means to be an artist. That in, one way or another, your music has touched their lives, but to you, it’s just your job. It helps to put into perspective what we fans actually do do. And, I’m sure many will reply that I’m crazy. Yes, I am. But, I’m also able to see that for many years, and for many artists, i, too, have created this fantasyland of my position in their lives. Yes, we all have invested way more time into their lives than they are investing their time into our lives. You appreciate us, but you don’t obsess over us, like we do you. Oh yeah, I’ve done doosies of us after one of your shows… But, then, I’m sure many of your fans have had the same thoughts/fantasies or whatever. But, have they, even though, like me, they’ve never been with a woman? WOWza! See? I am crazy!

Anna, please don’t let the naysayers get to you. Please keep doing what you’ve been doing for these past 6 years, because you’re doing one hell of a good job! And, please don’t ever forget that!! I/we would be saddened if you threw up your hands and caved. I/we would miss reading your blog that I/we love to read and that I/we have become so accustomed to.
Happy Nude Cheer everyone! And, may 2022 be the year all of your dreams [and fantasies/obsessions] come true!!!

Reply stasia December 22, 2021 at 23:00

I can say, that I love LP she’s literally from the stars, however, I feel she is lost without Lauren, there is a fire in her and a softness that I don’t’ see or feel. this new model she is with seems like a bandage. I miss the two of them.

Reply Elyse Kleidon March 6, 2022 at 15:13

Hi, Anna! Been a long time! Thank you so much for your dedication to LP, and to her former partner (a truly fierce phenom herself), Lauren … I can’t believe it, I only learned about their breakup today, March 6th 2022. I was checking Twitter re: LP’s upcoming Seattle show – and what???? a woman other than Lauren on LP’s arm? Click and click and – oh noooooo 🙁 nooooo 🙁 LP & LRW radiated adoration and rapture, they appeared to me as love and lust made manifest – and then, “they” are only together in our collective memory, loved and lost. But “they” were and dearly loved, and I can’t help but hope that one day they will sing their love to each other’s hearts again, even in secret…thank you Anna for what you shared, I don’t know if I’d have found that anywhere else. Regardless of the truths of their experience, I, like you, will still embrace them both in my heart. It has plenty of room <3 <3 <3
P.S. I know unkind words and criticisms can be painful. You're super brave, you go all in and then share it all, including yourself and your vulnerability. And being vulnerable means you can get hurt, and almost certainly will. But! It also means that you can be truly seen and appreciated – and man, Anna, you are, and by so many people! That's SO BIG, that's real, that's freaking AWESOME. Thank you again, from "Nabokophile" (Elyse) in Seattle xo

Reply Anna March 7, 2022 at 17:56

Thank you for this incredibly kind and thoughtful comment! I appreciate it a lot!

Reply Elyse Kleidon March 7, 2022 at 23:48

I mean every word, Anna. You inspire me. Criticism terrifies and limits my self-expression – I’m going to try to be more courageous.
And, my gratitude for showcasing Lauren’s perspective is completely sincere as well. I confess I might have made biased and ignorant assumptions without your piece. I was a LP fan for years before I heard of LWD, and blind “loyalty” can turn even 44 year olds into teenagers with overly simplistic, black and white thinking. This is a very important reminder that almost nothing, if anything, fits in one neat little box.
OK enough out of me. Keep on rocking, Anna, you’re truly a very special being <3

Reply Anna March 8, 2022 at 19:53

One of the greatest compliments I’ve ever gotten! Thank you. That lifted my spirit up!!

Reply Nancy Dawson March 15, 2022 at 01:45

Hey Anna.
As of this moment i am so jelly that you got to meet and greet our girl, LP! I mean how fantastic is that.?! Did she smell of cotton candy and patchouli?? 😎
I’m not here to make assessments of your honest and raw blog. I felt that, man. I cried. Like a cleansing cry.
As of right this minute my head space and heart is for you and what is happening by your country. I hope and pray that you and yours are safe. Please take good care.
Love and peace
Nance ❣️
Atlanta, GA

Reply Marwa July 25, 2022 at 01:58

Hi Anna
From the moment I layed eyes on Julieta, I thought she was exploiting LP
And felp very sad for Lauren.
However. It is what it is.
As expected Julieta didn’t last any long, she got what she could and left, lp only lost an honest person.

Any way, I don’t support wsw, nor msm, this can end humanity
Look at the experiment universe 25, you will get the idea there is no abseloute utopia, if there was humanity will extinct

I thank you again for the lyrics you shared with us, though it is heart breaking
LP says she is a monohomist, how she gets involved with Julieta while Lauren is with her?

Reply Elyse Kleidon January 9, 2023 at 16:43

Please keep your homophobic comments to yourself. Your words are extremely hurtful and certainly have no place on a blog dedicated to LP (or anywhere else).

Reply Dominika October 26, 2022 at 17:23

The LP’s musical creativity touches the most sensitive chord of my sensitivity …

Reply Elyse Kleidon January 9, 2023 at 16:44

Please keep your homophobic comments to yourself. Your words are extremely hurtful and certainly have no place on a blog dedicated to LP (or anywhere else).